Today I had a huge awakening as I was eating my lunch and thinking about a recent discussion I had had, with another professional, about the value of one’s worth. I was raised in the “sticks,” as we used to call it, or “way out in the boonies,” which generally implies dirt poor or someone who does not live on an “estate,” with lots of Arabian horses running around. As a professional I have spent most of my career helping those less fortunate than myself. So you will forgive the way the epiphany came: “Do you want to be a street hooker or a call girl?”
Of course in real life, women who do work on the streets often do not have a choice. Some of these women are sold to the streets as young adolescent and even pre-adolescent girls. Thus they are not very knowledgeable as they rarely get to finish their education. I think of call girls as women who went to Hollywood to be an actress and then met Heidi Fleiss. If you are going to be on the couch, you might as well get paid for it. So there are circumstances where one is not provided with access to choices.
But I am not talking to someone who is in this position. Instead, I am looking at people who take value in themselves everyday. When we walk down the street, the way we sit in a chair, how we talk to others. In business we can look at how much we charge for the services we sell or products we create. Products are based on price of equipment, cost of running the business, shipping, handling, and marketing – it is a little more simple and there are actually equations for this. Still, home businesses are started by small people with inexperienced minds and lots of issues with self-esteem. “Oh, I couldn’t charge that?” One woman I spoke to made jewelry. I asked her if she had a website for it so that she could make people aware of her services. She said “No, I wouldn’t be able to keep up with the demand of my sales. I prefer to do it for fun.” This is honest and there is nothing wrong with this kind of thinking. However, if you wish to be a successful businessperson, it is better to be practical about making a profit.
What stands in your way of success? Are you willing to make this sacrifice the rest of your life? If so, than you have to be prepared to set it aside and never discuss it again – because the conversation is over with. If you aren’t willing to sacrifice, what can you do to change this way of thinking?
There are coaching services available by professionals who enjoy helping people become great business people. This is for someone who needs a push, a manager to keep tabs on them, someone to provide them with direction, resources for business management.
If you are someone who has been abused, has experienced some form of abandonment or loss, these are just a couple of the reasons why people have a low sense of self-worth. You would do much better to consult with a psychotherapist about the reasons you hold yourself back. Mental damage control is important to help you heal as a human being but also to have integrity with what you really want in life. We’ve all met the executive with what the laymen would describe as “serious psychological problems.” I’ve met folks in business with addictions, personality disorders and God forbid they decided to quit smoking or get a divorce! I have even worked with someone who died on the job and one I saw carted out on a stretcher, because he wasn’t taking his blood pressure medications. These are people who could have benefited from psychotherapy services.
My generation and the one after it put a lot of energy into raising the “entitled generation.” Kids who were given anything and everything “What I never had.” Kids who were not told “No.” Entitled children do not come from parents who have high self-worth. They come from parents who felt rejected as children. We have to clean up our minds, bodies and souls before we can help other people understand the value of self-worth. Being wealthy and having everything is not valuable nor does it make you rich in self-esteem, happiness, or have a clean and clear consciousness.
This isn’t a conversation about being rich but about being successful in business and life. If you have a business, do people love coming to your shop/website? Do they feel satisfied with the service they are given? Are you happy at the end of the day because you love what you do? As a person, do you find yourself saying “People don’t respect me enough?”
So what do YOU need to do in order to have what you want and what can you do to feel value within? Are U Ready?