Wouldn’t it be great to talk to someone before you get married to prepare for this huge committment you are about to take? On the heels of yesterday’s article about marriage advice, I wanted to write about pre-marital counseling. If you are already involved with a religious institution than you probably already have this covered. However, if you are not in this category, you might find it helpful to talk to someone in preparation for the big day but most importantly for the days after. This is one area that a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist can be good for.
- Do you have a plan in place for financial, management of house, children or not, living arrangements, and so on?
- Have you dealt with all the baggage in your closet and theirs?
- Are there people or situations that will be joining the marriage? Children, elders, financial obligations?
- Expectations? What are you really thinking will happen once you seal the deal?
All these and more have already become a part of your relationship but it is important to talk about these things openly prior to the big day. You want to make sure you have a successful marriage not become another statistic (Arrrrggghhh!).
Of course these items should be discussed at home, between the two of you. Yet, somehow it just doesn’t seem to come up. It is easy to concentrate on the wedding, the honeymoon, but try not to think about what happens after until it gets here. But unlike Scarlett O’Hara, tomorrow may be another day but it won’t be a good one unless you are ready to deal with it today. We all saw how manipulative she could be just to get a successful day and we certainly don’t want her idea of a marriage. Right? Rhett may have been one of the most handsomest characters but he was sleeping with a prostitute and didn’t give a damn in the end. It wouldn’t have been a good novel though if Rhett and Scarlett had pre-marital counseling as there would have been no drama and certainly no movie!
You and your fiance are not a period masterpiece, just two souls hoping to combine as one. Your goal won’t be to have conflict and drama but we all know that life is not perfect. This is the reason to start it out on a good foot. Plan ahead, talk to someone who is an experienced professional and be the marriage that your friends envy! If you really think this is the one you want to spend your life with, isn’t it worth having a coach and being well prepared?