Getting Out of Your Own Way

This phrase is very difficult to hear, to a person who is used to being in control, forcing their life to happen.  Yet those of us who are in this category, know that we are often sorely disappointed.  Our expectations are so high, we are blindsided by what we think our life should be and often our own fears keep us from the life we really want.

So hearing the phrase “Get out of your own way,” that often comes from metaphysicians, sounds like someone who thinks they know it all.  It sounds like someone who probably has the life they want and can easily say that.

Sometimes in life, we are forced to get out of our own way though and within whatever miracle makes us do this, we find life happens just as we would wish.  We find a new life that we never imagined but one that we learn from, grow from and are a lot happier with.

There is another phrase, “When you persist, it resists.”  You really can’t force life to happen the way you want it.  Young girls learn quickly that getting pregnant does not bring them a proposal; instead they get 18+ years of struggle: financially, emotionally and psychologically. Men learn that a trophy wife cause them nothing but agony, financial discourse and less sex than they would have imagined.  Women find that they may get the man they “wanted,” only to find that he is deeply flawed, wounded, and a drain on their emotional reserves.   The job we “worked so hard for,” ends up taking us away from love, family, friends.

What if you didn’t force life?  What if you kept yourself open to a job, partner, life that will do the greatest good for you?  What would happen?  I am not saying sit back on your couch and wait for life.  You still have to apply for the job, you still have to go out and mingle and you still have to walk out the door and move around a bit.  What I am saying is don’t push it.

Example: I am so alone.  I need someone to spend my life with. 

Everyday that you are alone, fretting over this monologue,  you are wasting being yourself.  At the same time, going out to clubs, parties, events, with the hope of meeting someone (rather than being yourself), and surveying the room, waiting to pounce on the first cute eligible stranger, you are forcing life to happen.

Instead, get together with friends to hang out.  Think of something you have always wanted to do and do it, don’t wait for someone to go with.  And I mean something that will take your mind off of things because this is something you are so passionate about, you wouldn’t care about anything else.  Instead of investing time trying to find a partner, invest time meeting friends of your own sex.  Go to groups that are gender specific and meet like minds.  All things that build your confidence level, help you to network and get you in doors you never imagined going through.  If you feel afraid of doing something, do it anyway on a dare with yourself (I am not talking death-defying, I am talking about making a phone call when you generally email, or going to a group rather than chatting with one online).  Then remark on what happened as a result of you trying this.

When you choose to get out of your own way, it may start with a simple quest from the universe.  Write in your journal, how do I do this?  Pray about it.  Meditate on this.  Put your query out there and then wait and see the answers you will get.  You have to be open though and listen.  Really listen to what you hear.  It can come from anywhere.  A journalist discussing something on television might have what you are meant to hear.  A little child skipping rope down the street might say something out of nowhere.  A neighbor, a boss, a co-worker, a friend.  Sometimes you can hear an answer several times and never really get it until the sixth time of hearing it – when you are ready to listen.

Getting out of your own way means you have to be patient.  It means you have to let go.  It means you can’t expect.  It means you have to breathe.  It means that you will have the most amazing life, one you would have ordinarily let your fear keep you from and it means that there will be less struggle.  Can you imagine that?


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