Many of today’s women are led to believe that a wedding is a day to spend thousands of dollars trying to impress their friends. The men have been led to believe that it is about how much money they fork out on the engagement ring.
A wedding is simply a legal ceremony for which you are now in a contract to spend the rest of your life married to another person. A wedding is also a religious and/or spiritual event depending on your beliefs, in which the couple unites themselves to this belief and to their God. They pledge to practice these beliefs throughout their marriage, as well as teach and educate their offspring.
The most valuable impression you can make upon your friends is to have a marriage that is long-lasting, happy, prosperous and loving. Because the failure rate is so high, almost half of all marriages fail, so many guests spend that expensive wedding day taking bets on how long you two will last, while they clink their glasses and don their faux smiles. This is why it is more important to reconsider your wedding day, keeping it simple and within the rituals of your faith but spend time prior to the day preparing to invest the rest of your life with the person you love. After all, wouldn’t you prefer to have a marriage that lasts rather than just one day of fun?
The less stress and financial strain on a couple in the first few years, the easier it will be to begin to build a strong union. It takes time to get to know one another after the wedding day. This is different from cohabitation as you are now committed and have agreed to make decisions together, thereby respecting each other and planning a future. No different from a business. In a business, you create a strategy for how it will look, you write-up a plan, you decide who will do what and this is generally a good start to success. In a marriage, it is no different. If you take the time to do this, stick with it, hold family meetings periodically, and work together as a team (family), you will have a long-lasting relationship.
Several months prior to the wedding day ceremony, it is also important to seek guidance through your faith, a counselor, or psychotherapist who specializes in marriage preparation. As the divorce rate is so high and acceptable in many cultures, most couples come from split or single parent families. You can’t ignore these attributes which have guided your perceptions of marriage, values toward men/women and children, commitment and responsibility. The reasons why marriages fail are because people do not invest time in getting to know their partner but also getting support from experts on what to expect. Many couples stick with “we are in love and it feels right.” Unfortunately, once you begin to live with them in a marriage and go through hurdles together, you will find that feelings dissipate very quickly. Sex isn’t so great either when your relationship is only based on “love.”
Of all the couples I have known who have lasted the longest, their wedding day was simple rather than extreme. They took time to get to know each other before making the decision. They planned what they wanted their future to look like. After the fact, they made decisions as a family. They communicated with each other whenever obstacles began to occur and respected each others input. A focus was placed on balancing out the family demands, so no one was a workaholic and no one spent more time with the children (or pets) and/or personal hobbies as well as taking private time for themselves. These couples are more impressive because over time, what sticks with everyone who knows them is their strength. People turn to these couples in quest for their wisdom, philosophy on marriage, and because they are in awe of two people who can last in a world where most do not. The day of their wedding is long forgotten except as an anniversary that they remember, no different from the day of their birth.