If a relationship is meant to be, it happens. There is no stopping it. If it is not meant to be, it is a struggle, you find yourself doing a lot of work to make things happen and you go nowhere. It is like a rodent on a wheel, spinning around and around and around. Rodents seem to enjoy this game and get some pleasure out of it. Do you?
This also happens in other areas of life. If something is meant to happen it will. You either get the job or you don’t. If you don’t get the job, you get upset and feel like you did something wrong. You didn’t. You weren’t meant to have the job because it wasn’t the right one for you. When the right job comes along that is perfect for you, you get it.
What makes us struggle over what we don’t have rather than continuing to go forward until the direction we take becomes simple? Desperation. Impatience. Fear. Pressure.
We are raised to think that our life should go a certain way. That we should have certain gains by timelines set for us by parents, peers, society. Why aren’t you married? When are you two going to have children? Shouldn’t you have been promoted by now? Then it becomes “Oh look, Bob has a new riding mower.” We get in circles and find that Betty is able to raise five kids and make dinner by scratch and hold a job. It doesn’t occur to us that Betty’s also drinking at night to get to sleep or that Bob is deep in debt. Instead we focus on what we don’t have or that we are not good enough. We create our own obstacles.
Then there are some people who just go with the flow. If you are a Type A personality like I am, you despise these people (sarcasm). These are the kind of folks that are able to wait patiently for life to present itself. Amazingly, these are also the people that tell me they got a phone call about a job, while they were working somewhere else. Partners easily flock to them when they least expect it. These are the people movies are made of. When you see a movie and say, that never happens in real life, it does but only for those rare ones. Life just looks for the “go with the flow” types because they aren’t getting caught up in the shoulds.
This isn’t really a fix it blog article though and I am not going to now give you tips on how to master being a better person. Instead, I am leaving you with – think on these things. This article is something to be conscious of. We don’t always need to fix ourselves, just realize what it is we are doing. Sit with it. What is it that you need to learn about yourself from reading this page?