Guest Writer: Tina Fuller, author of “Its My Turn.”
My name is Tina Fuller and I am healed from the damage of having a high-range narcissistic mother. As you already know, having a narcissistic parent/s is an awful environment to grow up in. Like many others in this situation I grew up with low self-esteem, never feeling good enough, and all alone in the world. At around the age of 42, I discovered my mother was narcissistic. I knew something was wrong with my mother, but didn’t know what it could be. Luckily, I happened to stumble across the 9 characteristics of narcissism. The article said, a person must display 3-5 of them to be considered narcissistic. My mother displayed all 9!
I decided to learn all that I could about narcissism. I wanted to be absolutely certain that my mother was in fact narcissistic. I did research, read books, and watched documentaries. I was on a mission to get the truth. I suffered for 42 years and wanted to get rid of the pain and damage she had caused. I now had my own family and didn’t want any of her negative behavior affecting mine. Knowledge is power. If you think your parent is narcissistic, learn as much as you can about narcissism. This will truly help you in the healing process.
After several years of my diligent effort to become whole, I felt obligated to share my knowledge and experience with others who were suffering and experiencing the same pain that I had been through. I remembered how lost and lonely I felt, and in desperate need of answers. I had found several good books that clinically explained narcissism, but didn’t offer any real answers concerning what to do for myself. I decided to help others by writing a book! It’s My Turn explains narcissism, how narcissists think, and gives real life examples that people could relate to. I also wanted to provide ideas and solutions that describe what to do for yourself. I wanted to let others know that you can heal from this, and how to do it. I developed a 4-step program called P.A.C.E. (protect, accept, change and empower) to help others to heal.
In writing “It’s My Turn,” I learned that all my pain and suffering would now be used to help others. Something good was going to come of it! My book is being used in support groups here the US and the UK. Children of narcissists need to be validated and heard. I want others to know that you can heal from this. It takes work, but it is worth every minute to be free from the grip of a narcissistic parent.