I’ve recently utilized one of the online dating services and have learned quite a bit about what goes on in this modern society and the world of singles. Firstly, you want to make sure you are on the right website. Since dating, hook-up and sex sites just want your money, they are not taking any time whatsoever to explain their format, give examples or basically provide you with a reason why you should want to pay them money. They all say they are free and none of them are except a couple. But who wants to be on a free website when this tells you how much the other is willing to invest in their future? Dating websites JUST want your money, they don’t care what happens after that. Be conscious of this and the choices you make. Click on Top 10 list below:
Ask Men has a really good list of Top 10 dating websites which explains the costs, what the site is really for and gives you the pros/cons. Once you read their article, click on the numbers below it to start learning about each of their picks that they chose based on their research.
1. If you are just trying to hook-up, or have sex, don’t go on a “Dating” website. Look at the Top 10 list above and find the right one for you.
2. If you have a sexual perversion, again, don’t go to a “Dating” website. Look at the Top 10 list above and find the right one for you. A decent woman is not interested in looking at your Cross-Dressing YouTube videos.
3. Beware of Scammers – yes, they have now taken over dating websites. Look for someone who appears to be American White/Black but the text they write has tons of grammar/content mistakes that someone would not talk like if they were born here. Of course if they are honest and say “I here from Belgium,” okay but if they don’t, be leery. I’ve heard women say they are usually living in a very small town and often mention being a Widow. If they seem to want you to Text – DO NOT. They scam you through Texting.
4. Players – Beware of men who have two email conversations with you and then say they want to meet you and DON’T or you never hear from them again. I have read Elizabeth Stone’s article “5 Sketchy Reasons Why Your Online Match Won’t Meet You In Person and What to Do About it.” You should read this too.
5. Photos – There is a lot to say so I will break it down.
a. Don’t take photos of yourself as a selfie – it looks ridiculous, especially when the camera is right there in the photo. I have seen people where their heads are up in the air and you mostly see their neck, a profile, their mirror, selfie’s are for kids not grown-ups looking to find a person to have a relationship with. Get a friend to take the photo and look into the camera.
b. Don’t have a woman/man in your profile photo if you are the opposite and looking for a partner. I have seen some photos with only a woman in the photo, which at first made me think the wrong sex was sent to me. No, the guy was heavyset and too afraid to put his photo on his profile.
c. If you have photos with kids or women/men please identify that these are your kids, grandkids, niece, etc… so that someone doesn’t think it is your young date, ex-girlfriend, or your kids when they are your grandkids.
d. Don’t do goofy photos because it makes you look like a moron. It is one of those “you had to be there,” moments and well, we don’t get it. Present yourself in a mature manner or try-out for a comedy club instead.
e. Men love to do “I am a man” photos which show them popping wheelies, running in Ironman, working out in their basement etc… This makes me think of a little boy looking for a mommy who will allow them to play. Think how you would feel if you saw a woman turning a cartwheel or doing the splits, in a ballet pose or bouncing on a trampoline. There are pictures that say “Looking for a fellow skier, skydiver, rock climber,” and photos that say “My main priority in life is playing.”
f. Photos of Nature??? Even if you are a photographer, women are interested in seeing you, not what you see in life. My first thought is, why are they afraid to show me themselves? Showing a photo of your home or backyard isn’t really that great either unless you are an interior decorator or landscape artist. You can say in your profile that you own a home. If you were gay and knew how to make a stunning looking house, that is showcase ready, that is one thing but if you were gay you wouldn’t be on a heterosexual dating site. Looking at a dull house or a brown colored grass yard isn’t what a woman is going to get psyched about.
g. Multiple photos of the same. It is not very clever to show two-three of the exact same photo. Also, if you aren’t capable of posting them right side up, then don’t.
h. Sexualized photos – If you have these types of photos, you really need to be on a sex/hook-up site not a dating website.
i. Dress like a man who wants to find a woman – Don’t expect if you show photos of yourself dressed like a slob or in a rock concert T-shirt that you are going to get a sexy lady wanting to go out with you. If you don’t know how to dress nicely, pick up GQ magazine or another stylish men’s magazine to see how you can upgrade your style a bit. Birds of a feather flock together. You want a decent person, act like a decent person.
j. Don’t put a photo on there that has your text attached to it. SCAMMER!! If you can’t afford the dating service go to a free website that really is free.
6. I am out of your league! Don’t see a pretty girl and go crazy sending emails to every single one to see who will bite. Emails that start out “Hey Beautiful,” or ” Hi Princess,” or “Hi Sexy,” don’t get a woman excited. This is bar room talk and meant for the bar and a beer, not a serious person looking for a man.
7. Read the profile – If it says “Looking for a God Fearing man,” then don’t send an email if you are an Atheist or some other thought process. Religion is important to people, especially when they say this. I saw quite a few profiles that said “If you voted for Trump, we aren’t a match.” These are pretty strong words but weed people out that will waste their time. So pay attention. People take time to write profiles for a reason.
8. Be honest – Seriously. When someone meets you in person, it will be obvious that you are not “Athletic and Toned.” If you are a cheap skate and have no intentions of paying for the woman, don’t wait to go on a date to suddenly look up in the sky when it is time to buy the tickets for the movie. Put on your profile – I only do Dutch on dates. Please don’t insult women by saying you are a feminist. That is such a low blow and it only means you are cheap, not a feminist. If a woman is a feminist and big on doing Dutch, this will be made clear by her, so you need to be honest too.
9. Steer clear of online dating websites that don’t let you see photos immediately or make you pay extra after you have paid the bill to see them (very dishonest). A mutual attraction begins when you look into someone’s face. I live in Ohio, lots and lots of really, really, nice, great, men here. Unfortunately, I am not attracted to every single one of them. It is not what a person looks like either but the energy that is emitted from their photo. You are attracted to it or you are not.
10. If you say “let’s meet in person,” then you are expected to do just that. It is called integrity. Don’t brag about being a professional on your profile and then say one thing and mean another.
11. Coffee Meetings – these are meant to be a way to single out if there is chemistry, conversation, begin to build if there is. It is not a marriage proposal so don’t get so egotistical about this and fear the first date.
Guys, you are the reason why dating websites get a bad name – for the most part. I have talked to many women who have been on these websites, read articles, etc… Don’t ruin it for the good guys. Don’t ruin it for us women. No one who is on a serious dating website wants to be played, spend money on your Nigerian adventure, or be told “Lets meet” and then your never heard from again. It wastes everyone’s time and energy. Don’t be so egotistical to think a woman is dying to meet you, she is afraid too. We are all on dating websites because we are tired of trying to meet a person live, the old fashioned way. No one wants to meet at bars, except if they are an alcoholic. So be mature, have some integrity and be a real man who embodies these rules. A real man wouldn’t show photos of himself popping wheelies or in a baseball cap w/a beer bottle (unless you are looking for an alcoholic). A real man would show a professional, well-groomed, clean appearance that would make a woman get excited. No one gets excited to see a man in a t-shirt, beer belly, baseball cap, sunglasses, hoodie, pants pulled down, gold teeth, etc… you get the picture. Women are looking for a responsible, well-behaved, mature professional man. I have talked to women in the inner city and even they are not looking for gold teeth and pants pulled down. They are too smart for that!
Keep it simple and sweet. Don’t go into long monologues because the more you put on there the easier it is to weed you out. If you say too much, it is easy for a woman to see things she won’t have in common with you.
Dating websites are meant to be ways to meet people and it is hoped that someone will take their time to get to know you and if you seem interesting ask to meet you somewhere in public and then see what happens next. Act like a responsible, mature, professional man with integrity and you will find the right person to share your life with (since that is what you keep stating in your profile). Otherwise save your money and sit at home watching football.